Too Much Perfection Is A Mistake

As you probably know since every other post of mine lately has been about it, I have to write a 5 page paper about how ballpoint pens work for one of my college courses tomorrow. I have spent a good 24 hours in the last week trying to write this, and I can’t focus at all. I’m only 2 pages in, and I have no more information to cover. It doesn’t help that every 10 minutes I want to browse the internet some more or play a quick Tetris run. Heck, I decided to watch a movie today, somehow reasoning that it would help me focus on writing this thing. That was stupid.

So now it’s 11.40, I have 3 more pages to write of this paper (plus putting together the bibliography), and I already want to go to sleep. But I’m going to be up really late tonight. Really late. Thankfully I’ll be able to sleep in until tomorrow, since my class isn’t until 1. I just don’t want to screw my sleep schedule up even more than it already is. Gah.

If anyone reads this, even if you are a complete stranger, message me on AIM and yell at me to write more. Give me some ideas or just swear and scream in text to motivate me. My AIM ID is wherearemyb0nes. That’s a zero in bones. Thank you!

This migraine is unrelenting today. I’ve tried everything within my grasps to remedy it. I can’t focus on this term paper at all. I wish I had someone to massage my head.

I really need to write this ludicrous paper still, but I’m going to take a little bit of time to post this…one of the greatest new bands out there right now is trying to raise money for recording their new album. There have been days where Direct Hit! is the only thing I listen to. They play catchy punk songs. And if you donate anything, you get some awesome stuff. So help them out!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/736538139/buy-direct-hits-dignity-for-charity

i give up trying to write this term paper right now. It’ll have to happen tomorrow. Gonna take lots of meds for my headache then just lay in bed and read before trying to sleep. I’m stressed out and depressed and my head could not be any worse right now. Good night, tumblr.

And I’ve realised I haven’t listened to something this heavy and structured at the same time in ages. If I’m listening to something heavy, it’s chaotic, and if I’m listening to something structured it’s not heavy. But I suddenly want to listen to some good old metalcore/hardcore/whatever-kids-call-it-these-days. I’m twenty and I feel old when I look at today’s music scene. “Back in my day…”

What’s all this garbage they’re calling screamo now? Alesana? A Day to Remember? These bands are awful. Putrid trashwater. When did the term screamo stop meaning bands like Circle Takes the Square, Orchid, or Saetia? When did 90s screamo bands start being called ‘skramz’? What a stupid word.

When did people start branding The Acacia Strain ‘deathcore’? How many ‘core’s need to exist? There are maybe 4 in my mind…hardcore, metalcore, grindcore, and mathcore. And all of those have distinct differences. What’s different from deathcore and metalcore? What on earth is thrashcore, noisecore, hatecore, rapcore, skacore? Why do these words exist?

I don’t even know if this post is coherent, I’m going to sleep.

I’ve been working like crazy and barely sleeping. For the last four nights I haven’t fallen asleep until the sun came up. Then I had to wake up for work early every day. I have the next three days off, so hopefully I can catch up on sleep. Although I still need to write 4 more pages of that paper about ballpoint pens. And I need to try to fit some class observations in this week. Ugh, I can’t wait until this semestre is over and I can finally relax for a little while. I don’t have time for anything. NANO was a complete failure for me, I’ve only written 6000 words, maybe. Hopefully I can write more in the next few days, since I need to hit 50 pages for a class in the next couple weeks.

Well, time to try to write more of this awful paper. Who cares about how ballpoint pens work? No one. No one wants a five-page paper about them. I can’t focus…my mind is all over the place. I can’t even listen to a single song all the way through. I’ve jumped all aorund my iPod…Dance Club Massacre, Blackbird Suite, Kazuki Tomokawa, Sigur Ros, Bob Dylan, The Faint. GAH. Any tips on how to focus?

I have to write a five-page paper about how ballpoint pens work! Whoo!

At least I can listen to a lot of music while doing so. I’ll post what I’m listening to as it changes. First, Blackbird Suite’s selftitled album. Electric folk-punk that’s tinged with pirate…I’ve been listening to it constantly for the past few days. I couldn’t find my favourite songs on Youtube, but check out a song off of the album here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WRFYRwgEtQ

As I mentioned in a post a little while ago, my mother is undergoing some heavy duty surgery next week. She’s having two procedures done…the first being Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty…basically removing or moving flaps in the throat that are blocking the air passage during sleep. Recovery time is pretty long.

The second, which they’re doing at the same time is more intense. They are reconstructing her entire right sinus cavity, from the ground up. This is also for her severe sleep apnea. Right now, she almost never sleeps, no matter how hard she tries, because air can’t get to her lungs when she is lying down (or propped up). Hopefully this will fix that.

She’s going to be out of commission for 4-10 weeks.